We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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