Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
