The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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