He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
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Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I currently don't understand fingers.
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