That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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