Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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