He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
