How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
