Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
