if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
