So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
