he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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