just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together