I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder