how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
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I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
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Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.