Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
