Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
