I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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