I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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