At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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