Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
