So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
