also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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