dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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