Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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