that's an acceptable place to lick
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
