Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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