I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize