I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She is in my trunk
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it's like iHOP with fire
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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