I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
