The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize