once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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