Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
God, I missed his penis.
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