I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Damn victory sex feels great
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
