Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize