Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
