its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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