About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
