Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
