I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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