is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
