It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
