She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
pray to the hookup gods
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
