I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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