I want to make a zoo with you.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
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Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad