i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
