"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
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Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
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he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex