just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.