hotties wanna shake it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants