I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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