you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
