Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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