I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
