Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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