she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
