my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
