first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
