He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
