ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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