she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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