awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
