yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
