It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Too much gin, very little bucket
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
