spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
