chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
