You really coming over, don't trick.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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