were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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