Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
