gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
