Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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