I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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